Today Ella is three! That in itself is quite amazing. It has gone by so quickly yet… So much as happened since she arrived! It is a significant milestone not only in regards to her age, many changes are approaching and we are facing the coming days with trepidations. At her birthday all aid from Early Intervention stops. All the therapists Ella (and us) have gotten to know and like, who worked with her since she was just a few days old, are coming no more. Ella will start receiving all her therapy as part of the city school system when she starts going there next month. Another big change is the fact that Beth, Ella’s beloved nanny is going to be leaving in a few days. She is practically part of the family and she played a huge part in Ella’s routine and care. We might just have to have her kidnapped and brought back to us (we are looking into the legal aspects). And another huge one. Next week Ella and I will be going to Chicago to attempt her reconstructive plastic surgery again. The previous date was canceled due to a cold and we are hoping to be able to go through with it this time (even though there is a massive amount of worrying going on simultaneously). Once Ella is feeling better, a few weeks after surgery she will start attending school every day. A bus will pick her up in the morning and return her at 1:30. We are hoping this will bring productive stimulation for her along with a lot of progress. The school seems very nice and the staff energetic and attentive. But what a change for Ella! These past few weeks Ella has been making consistent progress in several areas. Her walking is getting stronger and more willful. She agrees to walk without her braces and we have taken to removing them in the afternoon and doing walking drills without them. She seems wanting to even go up stairs and makes the motions as we help her up. Her walking is still very heavily assisted by us and requires supporting her with both hands while bending forward; it is an activity that completely demolishes your back. We dream of the day we can support her by just holding her hand. Ella’s verbal skills are slowly (yes, very slowly) moving forward, she uses sounds ever slightly more consistently, asking for things and letting us know that she is ‘all done’. Ella’s toilet training is going well (generally speaking). If we get her to the toilet on a regular schedule we can get along with just one diaper a day. The next step of her letting us know when the right time arrives is still a ways off. She is as happy as ever and seems a bit more aware of what is going on and responding to it. When I go and look at her asleep and she is laying there with her eyes closed and her asymmetry less pronounced I can’t help thinking once in a while why couldn’t we be worrying about Ella’s schedule, school choice or rash near her armpit, you know, normal stuff, instead of worrying whether she will ever walk on her own, be able to communicate or who will look after her when she is grown up and will she always be pointed at when she enters a room.

‘Why’ is the most difficult question at these times. There is no why. There can be no answer. There is only Ella.

Happy Birthday Ella! I am so curious to see you in a year.